Schedules For Kids

When you’re pregnant with your first child, you dream of and plan for the day you bring him home from the hospital, thinking of the lazy mornings of feeding, diapering, putting him down for a nap, maybe napping yourself or catching up on “me time.”

All of this sounds wonderful in theory, and then the day arrives. You’re exhausted, wearing dirty clothes, and bickering with your spouse about who is more tired and who last emptied the diaper pail.

You despair that things will never return to “normal,” whatever that means. They won’t: you have a new “normal” now, and it takes a while to figure out a routine that satisfies your baby’s needs and keeps the household relatively sane.

When you add more children to the mix, they tend to fall in place with the family’s schedule, but whether you have one child or four, there is always an adjustment period when baby comes home. What’s the value, then, of a schedule? Or is routine more important?

Nearly anything you read about parenting suggests the value of picking a bedtime and sticking to it, scheduling daily “tummy time” for your infant, and making naptime sacred. There is a good reason for this: babies thrive on routine, and are secure and comfortable when they know what to expect.

The reality, however, is that babies and parents – whether they work out of the house, work from home, or stay home full-time – are human, too, and many factors may affect the most well-laid plans for keeping a schedule.

If you’re breastfeeding, you will be uncomfortable, and possibly diminish your milk supply, if you don’t let baby eat when he’s ready. Follow your pediatrician’s guidelines to make sure you wake the baby up to feed, and make sure he’s gaining sufficient weight, though.

Delaying feedings in an effort to get him on a schedule, however, may mean a fussy, angry baby, and a fussy, angry you.

At first, babies seem to sleep all the time; so long as he’s eating often enough, let sleeping babies lie. Soon enough, he’ll start to establish his own sleep schedule, and you’ll know when he needs a nap. Be prepared for the unexpected, though: your baby may sleep several hours one night, then be wakeful the next.

Do work in time for social interaction, play, and discovery. This may not be at a prescribed time, but allow for times where you simply talk to your baby, show him new things, and read to him. Since babies don’t read parenting literature, your baby will dictate this schedule at first, but things do start to fall into some level of prediction as your baby requires less frequent feedings and naps.

Particularly if you have a newborn and a toddler, schedules are hard to keep since the activities of the household often interfere with your establishing order. If you have a toddler who wants to play at feeding time, set up a chair where you can sit and feed the baby while your toddler plays at your feet.

Wear your baby in a sling so that your hands can be free for toddler time while baby naps, nurses, and gets “snuggle time” with mom or dad. Keeping both or all of your children on the same nap and bedtime schedule is a dream come true for parents, and sometimes it works – giving you a much-needed break.

Try establishing a routine of quiet time and books at bed- or naptime, and your baby will learn the cues for settling down. Enlist the help of your older children by appealing to their sense of being a “big kid” who knows the ropes.

If you allow for a deviation from a set schedule, you’ll find your parenting life a lot easier. Certainly don’t let chaos rule the day, but keep in mind that, if today’s schedule didn’t work out, you can always do something different tomorrow.

Aim for a schedule, but focus on routine, and your baby will eventually settle into a more or less predictable rhythm of eating, sleeping, and playing.